We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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