Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He shit in the fireplace
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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