when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
