now i know why i became what i already was.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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