Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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