mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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