so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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