Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You need Xanax blowdarts
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
