I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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