Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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