I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
