Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
