Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The best revenge is premature balding
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
