will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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