if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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