if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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