If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was confusing and full of hummus
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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