Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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