my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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