he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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