His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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