Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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