Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
