She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
