I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
