I look better un-naked...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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