I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
