wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
