he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
