nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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