Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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