I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it glows. i had to have it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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