Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize