FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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