Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
