I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
