so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
