A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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