used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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