Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
