I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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