like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
