I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
