I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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