Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
