Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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