I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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