You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
