How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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