Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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