Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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