she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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