Say something about gay babies.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
