I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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