:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
