What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
