I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
