Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
