I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
