she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think your dad took our porno
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
