sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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