honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
