Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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