Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
